I do this thing where I get sorta attached to a particular actor for some time, wanting to watch as much of their movies as I can, until I somehow get them out of my system. (I like to call these attachments “phases”. My favorite phase, so far, has been my Eddie Redmayne one. I enjoyed trekking my way through his imdb page, in case you were wondering. There are gems to be found in there, my friends.) And, it is through this method that I have come across many (and I mean many) an odd movie, one of them being this one. Now, I can assure you that, obviously, not all of them, in fact most of them are definitely not as good as this one is. (There are some weird movies out there, people. Tread carefully.) In fact, this one’s great. I was going through a Colin Farrell phase a couple years back, and I came across this movie. I can’t remember what my exact thoughts about it were initially, but I think I took a look at the rating, and saw the poster and decided that it didn’t look boring.
And I was so right. This movie is very far from what boring is. I remember thinking this movie was great when I first watched it. So I watched it again a couple days ago, just because, and was really happy to find that it was as good as I remember it being.
It’s entertaining. And the thing is, it comes off as this typical spy/action comedy flick, when really, it’s quite a bit more serious than that. It’s actually a lot more serious than that. There’s some heavy content, and emotion in this movie, and yet, it still manages to come across as light hearted, and funny. And I have to commend the writer, as well as the actors for that, because this could have gone very wrong had it not been done right. It’s like the perfect blend of serious and funny. The two very much compliment each other in this film, and there’s (what feels like) a very fine line between them. They both add to each other. Plus, the dialogue is fantastic. I’m jealous. I’m so very jealous that a single human could produce this script, mashaAllah. So, with that being said, I present to you a list of My Favorite Quotes/Conversations From In Bruges:
Ray: Bruges is a shithole.
Ken: Bruges is not a shithole.
Ray: Bruges is a shithole.
Ken: Ray, we’ve only just got off the fucking train. Could we reserve judgement on Bruges until we’ve seen the fucking place?
Ray: I know it’s gonna be a shithole.
Ray: (weirded out as he stares at Ken pleasantly taking in the sights around them on their boat ride not minding the cold at all) Do you think this is good?
Ken: (distractedly) Do I think what’s good?
Ray: (still staring at Ken, weirded out) You know, going around a boat looking at stuff.
Ken: (Still looking around) Yes, I do. (Then looks at Ray who is huddled up and clearly not enjoying this) It’s called “sightseeing”.
“Here’s my vote on what we should. We give it another day, two days max, and then we check the papers again… and if there’s still nothing in them, we phone him and say ‘Harry, thank you for the trip to Bruges. It’s been very nice, all the old buildings and that, but we’re coming back to London now, and hide out in a proper country, where there isn’t just fucking chocolates.'” – Ray
Ken: (as he stares at a tower, excited) Come up?
Ray: (Still not enjoying this, and cold) What’s up there?
Ken: The view.
Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here.
Ken: Ray, you’re about the worst tourist in the whole world.
Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I’d grown up in a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me, but I didn’t, so it doesn’t.
“Purgatory’s kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren’t really shit, but you weren’t all that great either. Like Tottenham.” -Ray
Ray: Well what’s a fifty year old lollipop man doing knowing fucking karate? What, was he a Chinese lollipop man? Jesus, Ken. I’m trying to talk about-
(he can’t say it)
Ken: I know what you’re trying to talk about.
Ray: (crying) I killed a little boy. You keep bringing up the fucking lollipop man.
Ken: You didn’t mean to kill a little boy.
Ray: I know I didn’t mean to. But because of the choices I made, and the course that I put into action, a little boy isn’t here any more. And he’ll never be here again. I mean here in the world. Not here in Belgium. Well, he’ll never be here in Belgium either. He might’ve wanted to do, when he got older. I don’t know why. And that’s all because of me. He is dead because of me. And I’m try to… I’m trying to get my head round it, but I can’t. I will always have killed that little boy. And that ain’t ever goin away. Ever. Unless, maybe, I go away.
Ken: Don’t even think like that.
Harry: (about Ray) So he’s having a really nice time?
Ken: Well, I’m having a really nice time. I’m not sure it’s really his cup of tea.
Harry: (after a long pause) What?
Ken: You know, I’m not sure it’s really his thing.
Harry: What do you mean it’s not really his thing? What’s that supposed to mean? It’s not really his thing. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Ken: Nothing, Harry.
Harry: It’s a fairytale town, isn’t it? How’s a fairytale town not somebody’s fucking thing?How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches, all that beautiful fucking fairytale stuff, how can that not be somebody’s fucking thing, eh?
Ken: What I think I meant to say was…
Harry: (Interrupts) Is the swans still there?
Ken: Yeah, there’s swans…
Harry: How can fucking swans not fucking be somebody’s fucking thing, eh? How can that be?
Ken: (As he sneaks up on Ray, ready to shoot him, only to notice that Ray was about to shoot himself) What the fuck are you doing, Ray?
Ray: What the fuck are ‘you’ doing?
Ken: (as he sticks his pistol behind his back) Nothing.
Ray: Oh, my God… you were gonna kill me.
Ken: No, I wa – You were gonna kill yourself!
Ray: Well… I’m allowed.
Ken: No, you’re not!
Ray: What? I’m not allowed, and you are? How’s that fair?
Ken: You’re a suicide case.
Ray: And you’re trying to shoot me in the fucking head.
Ken: You’re not getting that gun back.
Ray: A great day this has turned out to be. I’m suicidal, me mate tries to kill me, me gun gets nicked and we’re still in fookin’ Bruges!
Ray: (crying) I killed a little boy!
(Ken embraces Ray)
Ken: Then save the next little boy. Just go away somewhere, get out of this business, and try to do something good. You’re not going to help anybody dead. You’re not going to bring that boy back. But you might save the next one.
Ray: What am I going to be, a doctor? You need exams.
Ray: So Harry Waters wants me dead. What a wanker.
Ken: He said this whole trip, this whole being in Bruges thing, was just to give you one last, joyful memory before you died.
Ray: [Absolutely stunned] In BRUGES? The Bahamas, maybe. Why fucking Bruges?
Ken: I suppose it’s cheaper.
(Harry, viciously attacking the telephone)
Natalie: Harry. Harry!
Harry: (stops) What?
Natalie: It’s an inanimate fucking object!
Harry: YOU’RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT!
Harry: I’m sorry for calling you an inanimate object. I was upset.
Eirik: I was trying to rob him. And he took my gun from me. And the gun was full of blanks. And he shot a blank into my eye. And now I cannot see from this eye ever again, the doctors say.
Harry: Well to be honest it sounds like it’s all your fault.
Harry: I mean basically if you’re robbing a man and you’re only carrying blanks and you allow your gun to be taken off you and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank which I assume that the person has to get quite close to you then, yeah really it’s all your fault for being such a poof, so why don’t you stop wingeing and cheer the fuck up.
Yuri: Eirek – I really wouldn’t respond.
Eirik: I thought you wanted the guy dead?
Harry: I do want the guy dead, I want him fucking crucified but it don’t change the fact that he stitched you up like a blind little gay boy, does it?
Ken: Harry, let’s face it, and I’m not being funny. You’re a cunt. You’re a cunt now, you’ve always been a cunt, and the only thing that’s gonna change is you’re going to become an even bigger cunt. And maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done?! You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids…!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insulting my fucking kids! That’s goind overboard, mate!
Ken: I’ve retracted it, haven’t I? That still leaves you being a cunt…
Harry: I fucking got that!
Ray: Harry, I’ve got an idea.
Ray: My room faces out the canal, right? I’m going to go back to me room, jump into the canal, see if I can swim to the other side and escape.
Harry: All right.
Ray: If you go outside around the corner, you can shoot at me from there and try to get me. That way we’ll leave this lady and her baby out of the whole entire thing.
Harry: You completely promise to jump into the canal? I don’t want to run out there, come back in ten minutes, and find you fucking hiding in a cupboard.
Ray: I completely promise, Harry. I’m not going to risk having another little kid dying on me.
Harry: So, hang on – I go outside and I go which way? Right or left?
Ray: (annoyed) You go right, don’t you? You can see it from the doorway! It’s a big fucking canal!
Harry: All right. Jesus. I only just got here, haven’t I? Okay, on the count of one, two, three, go. Okay?
Ray: What? Who says it?
Harry: Well you say it.
Marie: You people are crazy.
“You’ve got to stick to your principles.” -Harry
“There’s a Christmas tree somewhere in London with a bunch of presents underneath it that’ll never be opened. And I thought, if I survive all of this, I’d go to that house, apologize to the mother there, and accept whatever punishment she chose for me. Prison… death… didn’t matter. Because at least in prison and at least in death, you know, I wouldn’t be in fuckin’ Bruges. But then, like a flash, it came to me. And I realized, fuck man, maybe that’s what hell is: the entire rest of eternity spent in fuckin’ Bruges. And I really really hoped I wouldn’t die. I really really hoped I wouldn’t die.” -Ray