I wish I knew how to ask for reassurance.
I wish my problem was definite.
I wish I knew why I feel the way that I do.
I wish I knew where these feelings first came from.
I wish I didn’t need your reassurance.
I wish you’d know to reassure me without me having to ask.
I wish reassurance was a thing that was given constantly.
I wish confidence didn’t fluctuate.
I wish you would care enough to push.
I wish to feel you care enough.
I wish to know.
I want somebody to have my back. Why do I feel
out of touch?
Why do I feel isolated? Why do I feel
I’m not ok. I’ve felt queasy for a while.
Nervous. Except not.
The same pain, & discomfort of nerves. But…
I don’t feel you caring.
When will 17 pass?
I don’t want words of remorse, or spoken assurances.
(they seem so, very fleeting when faced with my state-of-mind.)
I want to fall asleep.
Oct. 15, 2015. Saturday / Home
“… It’s like starting another volume of my life, which is all fine and dandy-the more volumes, the merrier-but it also makes me a bit… something that this journal- this volume doesn’t have the answers. I don’t even know if the next one will, or the one after that. But, that’s one of the reasons I write in these things, to keep looking. I’m looking. I’d like that to be known at this point in time.”
If you wish to use my photos, please feel free to do so! All I ask is that you credit me. Thank you!
More pictures from my trip!
Please credit me if you wish to use my photos. Thank you!
These are some pictures I took during my trip to Regina, Saskatchewan.
Please credit me if you want to use my photo. Thank you!
there’s a part of me still unlocking the front door
of our small saskatchewan apartment,
and there’s a part of me still
simmering in the heat of new york.
small infinities remain within,
etched, yet faded, by the passing of time.