University is just around the corner, and instead of moaning about how I’m not looking forward to all this… stuff, I’ve decided to mention what I am looking forward to.
First off, as with every school year, I am quite excited about getting new school supplies. I don’t know why, but there’s something about new notebooks, and pens, and pencils that gets me excited about starting a term. It’s as if they symbolised the full potential, and possibility (both exciting, and scary) a new term can encase. I love back-to-school-shopping. So, I’m definitely looking forward to that.
I’m also looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. To when being in university starts to feel normal, and summer just becomes this thing that happened months ago. I’m looking forward to moving on.
I’m looking forward to seeing my friends again, and making new ones. (If that happens.) I’m looking forward to having discussions with Bushbush, and Tals, and Nouf again. And laughing with Shahd about everything, and anything. And, one of the best things about this term, is that Sabs and I are going to have more time to spend with each other than we did last term. (Hopefully.) WE’RE GOING TO HAVE BREAKS TOGETHER, AUGUST. THREE HOURS EVERY WEEK, INSTEAD OF THE SCATTERED COUPLE OF MINUTES WE HAD HERE AND THERE LAST TERM. IT’S THE BEST. We won’t have to squeeze in 2-minute-conversations between classes anymore. Instead, we will lounge about and have not-so-rushed conversations about whatever comes to mind. (God be willing.) I’m really looking forward to that.
I am, also, looking forward to most of my classes this term. Especially History of Law. (You can thank Sabs for that. I was actually thinking about taking Comparative Political Systems instead, but after hearing her talk about her History of Law class last term, I had no choice but to change my mind.) I say “most” because there is this one subject that seems to be quite horrible, and strenuous. I am not looking forward to it. Not even a little bit. In fact, I have a a ball of stress growing in my belly just thinking about it. (AWAY WITH YOU, FOUL BEING. YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE.)
Let’s see… what else am I looking forward to?
I’m looking forward to – and dreading – bettering myself. I think this is the source of most of my discomfort. Because, obviously, I’m looking forward to getting to where I want to be with myself, but, I’m also dreading the work I have to put into it. (If only becoming the accomplished human being you want to be was a simple as a musical montage. WHY IS REAL LIFE THIS WAY????) I wish I could simply declare that “I DO NOT CARE!”, and just work on whatever I want to improve on, without giving a second glance to those around me. (Not that people around me are rude, really. It’s just that I have a tendency of making monsters out of shadows.) But, I don’t think I’ll be reaching that “SCREW EVERYTHING” stage anytime soon.
Oh, well. One can hope that I at least reach the “I might care what you think about me, but I am not going to let myself panic about it to the point where I cry myself to sleep because of some rando’s thoughts on me” stage.
One step at time, and all that.
Wish me luck.