Letting go is tricky. It’s tricky because sometimes you think, and truly do believe, that you HAVE completely let go, but then you notice that some part of you hasn’t. It’s a small part, but it’s there. It’s all that’s left. The remnants. You’ve cut the big, and obvious ties between you and said person/thing, and you felt as good about yourself as one could when cutting ties with someone/something that took up a huge chunk of space in their life. And for a while, you feel as if you’ve done it. You have officially cut all ties. I am completely free of said entity. But then you start to notice that there are these less obvious, and sorta trivial bonds between the two of you. Like, you were so ecstatic about breaking the chains that tied you to it/them, that you completely forgot about these flimsy strings that remain tying you two together. And, I don’t know why, but the strings are harder to get rid of. It’s like you spend so much effort in trying to destroy these chains – trying to let go – so when it comes down to it, those flimsy strings don’t really seem worth putting effort into. What’s a bit of rubble to a castle?
So what happens is that, you leave them be. They’re there, and, it’s not really a good or bad thing. It’s just something that you have. Something that’s there until it’s not. A habit you can’t be bothered to kick. Like skimming over that person’s horoscope whenever you come across those silly tumblr posts. Or, replaying a memory whenever you run into something related to it. Or, remembering what their phone number is. Or their favorite color. What they said that one time about that one thing you just can’t seem to forget. Just debris scattered around in your mind. Something you’re sure you’re one day going to forget, but, for now, it’s still there.
Maybe we never really completely cut ties with them. Maybe we’re not really supposed to.
Beats me, August.